Grab a martini, let's demystify menopause.

Today’s Topic: The Bitch.

We Can Be Our Best Selves DESPITE Our Symptoms!

We all know the word. And none of us like it. Originally, the word bitch comes from the word bicche, which was developed from the Old English word bicce. There’s even talk that it also may have derived from the Old Norse word bikkja for “female dog“.artinis-and-Menopause_Kelli_Character

The term was first used as a disparaging insult against women sometime around the 15th century. In today’s world, when women are working so hard for the respect we deserve, I honestly don’t advocate that you use it. 

However, I will today. But only to make a point.

Because the truth is this:

Being perimenopausal; being taken hostage by your hormones; feeling overwhelmed by all the changes that are happening in your body; these things can make you feel like being an out-and-out, no holds barred, complete and total…


There, I said it.

But feelings aren’t facts, my women friends. They just aren’t.

Once again, I say, there is a solution. Well, first breathe deeply. (It’s always a good idea to fill your lungs with oxygen, right?) Then, it’s time to go shopping. No, not for those cute shoes I know you’ve been eyeballing.

Not this time. The shopping I am recommending this time is for… (drum roll, please)…progesterone cream.

YES! Progesterone cream is a game-changer, sister. My fave is Pro-Gest, from Emerita. (You can find this Portland, Oregon based, woman-owned company, whose mission is, “improving the health and lives of women”, online or at your local health food store.)

Because progesterone is fat-soluble, it is easily absorbed through the skin. So rub the recommended dose on your face, neck, chest, breasts, inner arms, or palms of the hands a couple of times a day and soon, you will start to feel better, I promise. I remember noticing a definite change for the better quickly after I started using it. In fact, my family was so happy, they suggested we buy stock in the company. (I’m sort of kidding.)

Progesterone cream not only helps with the extreme irritability but it’s also good for another one of our favorite symptoms. Hot flashes!

Dr. Christiane Northrup, M.D., a leading women’s health expert, has a lot to say about hot flashes and she advocates, as I do, for the natural, bioidentical form of progesterone.

She says, “…Bioidentical progesterone is entirely different biochemically from the synthetic progesterone found in most conventional hormone replacement regimens and in birth control pills. It has far fewer side effects compared to the synthetic varieties.

Check her out, for sure. She is awesome.

And now, a Look at a Hormone Hostage!

I’ve been watching the amazing HBO series, ‘Little Big Lies,” a vivid adaptation of Lianne Moriaty’s same-named book.

There’s a character in the story, named Madeline Martha, played brilliantly by Reese Witherspoon, who is THICK into the perimenopausal bitchiness. It’s painful to watch as she viciously attacks everyone – including her teenaged daughter. There’s a particular scene that stands out for me, the scene where she goes to a yoga class–a good, calming, stress reducing exercise, right?

Not for our Madeline. She instead spends the whole time fiercely whispering insults about other people in the class. Just listening to her scathing diatribes makes me want to shake her (read, get her attention), wake her up, set her down for some chill-time, and encourage her to look in the mirror.

Madeline Martha has become a hormone hostage and I am CERTAIN she could use a good rub of that Pro-Gest and one of our Martinis and Menopause Soirées! (The season ender of that show this past weekend, only confirmed this for me, by the way.)

Speaking of Martinis and Menopause Soirées…

Our first one was a total, capital S, Success! We had a full house of fun, curious women, sending all kinds of good vibes out into the world! We all enjoyed fancy drinks (with and without alcohol) and I spoke for a while about hot flashes.

We talked about why they happen and I gave some tips from my book on how to live our best selves through the Hot Flash Zone; no more Hormone Hostages for us! We talked about being part of a bigger community; a tribe of vibrant, creative, sexy, productive women.

Our tribe is making a difference in the city of Salem and in the world.

On that night, we all agreed to refocus our opinion of menopause and see it as the powerful, evolving, exciting, journey that it is. We all shouted together, “Go, Meno!” and committed to support one another through this breathtaking stage in our lives.

Then we got party favors and went home smiling.

Thanks again to Erin Molyneaux, Phiz Spa owner extraordinaire for co-hosting with me!

It was a magical evening. I hope you all can come to the next one. Stay-tuned for more info on upcoming soirées, grab a friend, and come join us! **Clink!**

So, there you go. We got through this month’s blog intact, even though we used the word, bitch. I think it went well, don’t you?

Before I go, I found this meme I wanted to show you.

Aren’t they cute?

OK…maybe not cute – but they serve as a good reminder for us.

Remember, ladies: when you feel the way these Seven Dwarves of Menopause are feeling you can stop. Stop the headlong march forward, take a couple of deep breaths, and be your own best friend.  

Say nice things to yourself, be kind, smile, laugh, and if you’re that damn hot- take the sweater off! A good sense of humor will take us a long way ladies. (Along with some progesterone cream…)



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About Kelli:

I’m Kelli. I am a menopause survivor, who has catapulted, stumbled, laughed, and cried my way to the other side of perimenopause and menopause. Along the way I’ve learned invaluable tips and resources to live my best self and beat the Hormone Groan!

No longer a hormone hostage (at least most days), my goal is to help you live well and with personal power through all the changes we go through in this incredible journey of life!


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